FAREWELL TO THE SKYLARK, Part Two.

                                                    “You might be surprised my son.”

Although this is, in the most part, a stand- alone story it does follow on directly from Skylark part one, so it will make more sense if you read part one before reading this.

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Elaine and I had recently purchased the Nissan pick-up that, unbeknown to us then, would be with us until the end of her life, near on twenty years in the future. The Skylark, as it eventually became known, would prove to be one of our best buys ever but we were still stuck with a Landrover Discovery that was possibly our worst. After so many problems neither of us had any faith left in it at all, and we were anxious to replace it as soon as possible, but what with?

By now we were doing a lot of antique/vintage fairs, and had started house clearance work too, and needed a car that had enough space to help out, and work alongside the truck. Where we lived it also made sense for that car to have four wheel drive capabilities.

Our Budget was some £12,000.00, including a hoped for eight grand trade-in for the Landrover, and so the search began.

At the time I happened to be working at Marlborough, some sixty miles from home, alongside my friend Jim. There were horses on site, and a mobile farrier used to visit. I noticed that he drove a pale green Isuzu Trooper three door (SWB), it was the current model, and I decided to pick his brains.

“Yeah I love it mate, I had a Landrover before, but this is much better to drive, much more ‘car-like’ if you get what I mean, there’s plenty of room for all my gear too as it’s a bit longer than most three doors. My advice is get yourself one, if you can find one that is.”

I told Elaine about it and she began looking for secondhand, latest model three door Troopers. It was like searching for the Holy Grail, they just weren’t about. One south coast dealer laughed when she phoned up, “Secondhand SWB, not a chance madam, but if you find one and don’t get on with it, we’ll buy it from you sight unseen.”

Several fruitless and frustrating weeks passed. A commercial version of what we were looking for was advertised for sale in Poole not far from home. It was like a van really with just two seats and no rear side windows, but we thought it worth a look.

Parked at the front of the garage when we arrived, it had obviously seen better days. It was unlocked, and on opening the doors we were hit by the heavy pungent odour of DOG, it absolutely reeked. Looking in the back, we saw that the backs of the seats were completely shredded. Either they owned the Hound of the Baskervilles or had recently given a lift to Edward Scissorhands.

We walked away, and the search continued.

Time went by, and then occurred one of those strange chain of events that sometimes happen in life, when things just fall into place, as though scripted.

We returned home on a Tuesday afternoon following one of our regular jaunts to Kempton antiques fair, just outside of London. Sat drinking tea, Elaine said she would start searching further afield for a car, as anywhere remotely near us had proved fruitless.

Starting straight away, she came across a company at Cirencester in Gloucestershire, well over two hours’ drive from home and decided to ring them there and then.

Her call was answered by head salesman Mike.

“Three door Trooper?” he repeated back, in answer to her question. “Yes, as a matter of fact we do have one here, came in this morning as part ex’ against a new five-door.” I listened in as he told her about it.

Less than eighteen months old, it had covered just under eighteen thousand miles. It had a three-litre turbo diesel engine, push button four wheel drive, plus a low range gearbox. It was painted black with bronze/grey lower body and silver alloy wheels, and they had supplied the car new to its one owner. And the price? £15995.00. Ouch!

Elaine asked about part exchange, and told him what we had.

“That’s strange” came the reply. “I’ve just got off the phone with the guy who has our non-franchise part ex’s. He was moaning that he’s had nothing from us for a while, your Landrover would suit him well.” He did a few calculations based on her description of our car.

“The absolute best we could allow would be £7000.00.” Ouch again!

Elaine asked for a few minutes for us to talk.

We decided we could muster up another thousand pounds, but that still left us four grand light. Having recently bought the truck, it wasn’t really a good time to be shelling out for another car, but we were ever fearful of the Discovery going wrong again and landing us with even more expense.

“Why don’t we go see it” said Elaine. “We’ve not even driven one of these cars yet and if we want it perhaps we can sort something on the day.” I agreed with this, so she got back to Mike, asked if we could have a test drive, and told him where we lived.

“You’re quite a distance from here” he replied. “Why don’t I meet you part way, we have another business interest at Marlborough, I’d be happy to meet you there, sometime next week maybe?” And so arrangements were confirmed for the Thursday of the following week.

Elaine was just about to hang up when Mike said, “Oh there is one thing I forgot to mention. This car was a special order from new, although it’s the Duty model, as the owner was disabled it has an automatic gearbox, does that matter to you?”

She assured him it didn’t and said we’d see him next week.

I groaned inwardly. This was before the advent of multi-geared auto boxes to gain better performance from diesel cars, this would be a plodder. The Discovery was not very sporty, and I had so been hoping for something with a bit more ‘pep’ about it as a replacement. 

                                                 (Note to self: Be very careful what you wish for!)

I knew where their other business was at Marlborough (a kind of garden machinery come country store). There was a spacious car park around it which we pulled into just after eleven on the Thursday morning. I had cleaned and polished the Discovery to within an inch of its life hoping to make a good impression and maybe more money, though we pulled up next to an equally gleaming black Isuzu that looked brand new.

The man lounging in the drivers’ seat got out as we arrived; this was Mike.

I can’t help but feel there’s a similarity between car salesmen and undertakers. There always seems to be a half-smile of expectation fixed on their faces. It’s as if they’re constantly sizing you up as to whether you’re actually going to be a serious customer just yet, or not.

We were being ‘sized’ I knew, as he leaned, one hand on the bonnet of the Isuzu, as we approached him. He was not a big man, had wayward sandy coloured hair and seemed totally at ease within his own casual manner. After introductions he showed us round the car.

It was in fantastic condition, no signs of wear showing at all, and Elaine and I settled into the dark grey cloth seats (me in the drivers) as Mike explained the controls.

“Have you driven an auto’ before?” he asked me.

“Only on a few odd occasions” I replied truthfully.

“Well it’s easy enough. Foot on the brake when you start, then into Drive and off you go. It’s a three speed box, first, second, and third. This button here is for overdrive, it acts like a fourth gear and helps with the fuel economy we just leave them in all the time. You two have a good drive round and come back when you’re ready.”

I went to hand him the keys to the Landrover but he waved them away, “I don’t need to drive it, I can see you’ve looked after it. I’m happy to stand by the price offered.”

I started the Isuzu, and to this day I don’t know what made me say it, but the window was fully down and resting my arm on the door I looked at him and said, “ Heavy car this, diesel, automatic, this will be a bit of a plod I reckon.”

He took a step towards me, placed his left hand on my arm, leaned slightly in and in a soft conspiratorial voice said “You might be surprised my son.” I would soon have cause to never forget those words.

Off we went, and at first took a couple of turns around Marlborough to get a bit more familiar with the car, then we headed out of town. I believe it was towards Swindon, all I know for sure is that after a few gentle miles we hit upon a good straight section of main road.

Nothing much was about, just one car away ahead of us and that was just passing a van parked-up in a lay-by to the left.

It was now Elaine encouraged me, saying, “See what it’ll do Mark.” So I did.

Planting my right foot to the floor, I expected it to kick-down from overdrive into third, and then hopefully progress fairly swiftly along for a bit, before changing back up.

Always expect the unexpected!

Without a hint of hesitation and a ROAR from the engine it dropped straight into second, felt for a moment that it was going to stand up on its rear wheels and then literally threw itself down the carriageway before us.

Elaine went back in her seat with a yelp, I instinctively gripped the steering wheel but for the next few moments was as much a passenger as she was. The acceleration was quite honestly breath-taking. How a vehicle of this size and bulk could take-up in such a way was beyond me right then.

In moments we were moving like vampires trying to escape the rising sun!

Don’t get me wrong, this was no turbine smooth progression, it was raw, visceral and unrepentant, but none the less effective.

Gathering my wits I realised that England was shrinking rapidly around us, and we were gaining fast on the car in front. I was about to lift off when I noticed the parked van was now moving and at the edge of the road, VERY near the edge of the road. Had he seen us? I wasn’t about to take the chance, there was an alternative.

The opposite lane was completely empty, nothing in sight. A glance in the door mirror confirmed nothing was behind us, so I eased out and in seconds we left both van and lay-by in our wake.

By now we had little chance of pulling-in safely behind the car in front. I didn’t have a clue as to how the Isuzu would react to my suddenly lifting off and braking hard (it weighed in at over two tons even without us on board) so the decision was made, the road ahead still being clear I kept us where we were and in moments we passed that car like an assassins bullet on rails.

We were still accelerating as we cleared him, the Isuzu planted rock steady on the tarmac; it was near unbelievable performance.

I eased us back into the correct lane and lifted carefully off the throttle, letting the bulk of the car slow us before braking gently, bringing us to an easier speed. Then I looked over to Elaine.

Have you ever seen a cat that’s been startled whilst washing itself? They look up wide-eyed and staring with mouth partially open, well I was looking at puss-puss right now. I thought I ought to say something.

“Sorry, darling, I had no idea that was going to happen.”

“I could see that by the look on your face. Dear God Mark! What the hells this car got under the bonnet? It makes the Landrover look like a tractor.”

“I’m not sure, but that farrier did say they were very car-like.”

“He didn’t mention the car was a bloody Aston Martin though, did he!” she replied.

We both then got a fit of the giggles and stared laughing. It was that nervous laughter that comes after possible danger has threatened and then suddenly passed without incident.

Finding a place to turn we headed back, then I pulled over and we checked out how the rear seats folded down, soon realising this car had all the space we could wish for. Elaine drove then, showing greater respect for the loud pedal than I had.

 Soon we were back beside the Landrover and she turned off the engine and looked to me. We were in agreement, we both wanted this car, but there was the small matter of the extra four thousand.

“Mark, I’ve been thinking, we’ve got money coming in next month that should cover this, what if we put the extra on the credit card, if they’ll take it, that is?”

“We’ll soon find out” I replied nodding towards the windscreen, as Mike had emerged from the building opposite and was coming towards us.

He came round to the drivers’ side and Elaine opened the door which he casually leaned on.

“Well?” he inquired.

Elaine was never one to beat around the bush. “Can we put four grand of it on a credit card?”

“No problem.”

“Then we’ll take it.”

“Thought you might.” He replied, that annoying half- smile fixed smugly on his face.  

The Isuzu proved to be another real gem and great fun to drive and live with. Together with the truck, it was the perfect combination of transport, for work or pleasure, for us at the time. It could be a fiercely quick car but we soon learnt to drive it with respect to its capabilities; though if needed, it could leave just about anything else standing, and many a would-be boy racer was left breathing its fumes as it disappeared from view.

It proved to be reliable, and we ended up travelling all over the country in it. Elaine even took it to France when she was invited over on a Vintage buying trip by friends Shirley and Mark, who live there permanently.

It was quite a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but neither Elaine nor myself had any reason to think that there was anything ‘different’ about it from other Troopers, that is until it was part of a factory re-call of that model by Isuzu.

A certain wire had apparently caused problems in a number of cars and so they were all called in for replacement. By now, some years had passed since we had bought our car, and it had covered over ninety thousand miles. Isuzu no longer made cars, just commercial vehicles, and it was to a local commercial dealership that we were directed to take ours.

So, on a damp Monday morning, I drove it over, and was motioned straight into the workshop where I left it for the day, Elaine dropping me back late PM after a call confirmed it was ready to collect.

I went upstairs to the office where a young lady handed me the keys and some paperwork, telling me the suspect wire was now replaced, and all was ok.

She then hesitated for a moment, “Mr Edsall could you spare a few minutes as the workshop manager would like to talk to you?”

I said I could, whilst thinking, Shite! they’ve found something wrong, I hope to God it’s not going to prove expensive.

The manger duly appeared, I don’t recall his name now as we only met briefly that one time.

He started by asking a few questions about the car. Did we buy it new? How long had we owned it? Where did we purchase it? etc etc. Had we ever had anything done to the car other than regular maintenance?

I told him that we hadn’t, and he seemed to think now that an explanation was needed.

“You see, Mr Edsall, when we carry out work on a vehicle we have to do a road test. When the guys backed your car out of the workshop it spun its rear wheels in reverse!”

“Yes it has a habit of doing that,” I replied. “You soon learn to be careful, especially in the wet or on a loose surface.”

He looked at me for a moment as though I’d just landed from the planet of the idiots; I began to suspect that I was missing something here.

“Yes well, they came back from the test absolutely enthusing about it, saying that they’d not driven anything like it before. I hardly believed them so, and I hope you don’t mind, I took it out myself. I was astonished, it goes like a rocket the acceleration is simply fantastic.”

“You mean they don’t all drive like that?” I said, rather naively.

“Drive like THAT! Good God no, they’re absolute slugs,” came the reply.

“We put it on the rolling road and sent the figures off to Isuzu. They got back to us saying, that vehicle could never produce that level of performance. So we tested it again and the figures were the same; they’re still scratching their heads, but we did a little investigating.” I remained silent.

“We checked-out the ECU (engine control unit) in your car, it’s been hacked into.” I looked at him blankly.

“Mr Edsall,” he said, addressing a class of infants, “Your car has been remapped or chipped, if you prefer.”

(Remapped/ chipped, this is when a vehicles engine management is reprogrammed to overwrite the manufacturers’ original settings; it’s done to increase performance, throttle response and sometimes fuel efficiency).

All of a sudden, the last piece of a jigsaw, started long ago, fell into place. In my mind I was back to the morning of our test drive and Mike’s words as we were about to leave, “You might be surprised, my son.”

I told the guy in front of me all about that morning and he laughed out loud.

“They had to know about it, no way could you be familiar with those cars and not realise there is something hugely different about yours. My guess would be the original owner, having to have an automatic, got frustrated with the lack of performance so got the work done very early in the cars life.”

“What should we do?” I asked. “Should we get it changed back to the original settings?”

 He thought for a moment. “Well, I’ve seen these cars dead at thirty thousand miles and others going strong at a quarter of a million or more, whatever has been done to yours appears to have been done skilfully and to suit the car, if I were you I’d leave well alone and enjoy what you’ve got.”

As leaving well alone was the cheapest option, I agreed. We shook hands and I turned to leave, then a thought hit me. “You know, it begs a question here, doesn’t it? Why didn’t Isuzu make them all like that in the first place?”

He smiled back at me. “Mr Edsall, I think they would have sold a whole lot more of them if they had.” And again, I had to agree.

We owned that Isuzu for some fourteen years. It had covered 140,000 miles by the time we came to part with it, late 2017. It had begun to suffer problems, particularly with its oil system, and although we were very loath to admit it, both Elaine and I knew that the writing was on the wall for our time with the ‘Super Trooper’.

I don’t now recall it ever really letting us down; but the AA did have to recover it once as it failed to start when Elaine was ready to come home from the stables (she took the photo of it on the low-loader).

We both felt deep sadness at the parting, but by now Elaine was having increasing treatment, and there loomed the possibility of us having to travel further afield for this, and we simply needed to have a newer vehicle that we could fully trust.

I was also, reluctantly, beginning to both realise and fear that the probability was threatening, that I would be left one day as sole owner of both car and truck. I tried to ignore such thoughts, but they never went very far away.

In truth, that probability, was much closer than I feared.

To be continued…