horsehusbandetc

what’s the plural of diagnosis?

For my family, the first time I had cancer was total shock and awe, but for me, I’d simply followed self-examination instructions and hit the jackpot. Sitting in the bath on Good Friday evening 1991, the lather parted on my left breast to reveal a marshmallow-sized lump. A strange calmness washed over me as IContinue reading “what’s the plural of diagnosis?”

requisitioned

(a blue sky dream) The sky, in his dream, was a porcelain shade of English blue. The grass, although not verdant was sweet, short and instantly fresh against his jaded tongue. The air, which he barely had time to scent so busy was he eating, cooled nostrils blackened with fire and a throat full ofContinue reading “requisitioned”

for Lilith

St Peter stands at heaven’s front door, but if you pop round the back you’ll find the best bit – its where the horses are. I’m not one for finding comfort in Rainbow Bridges (horses are such patient beings in this world, please don’t make them wait on us in the next) or Stars inContinue reading “for Lilith”

inspired by Crissi McDonald

INSPIRED by CRISSI McDONALD What if we stopped berating our past mistakes? What if we changed the narrative and called them progress? All of us here have travelled long and far. Not just with our horses but with our selves. Our faults are many, our successes few, and in order to improve we beat ourselvesContinue reading “inspired by Crissi McDonald”

a girl,a woman,or a lady?

“Are you a girl, a woman or a lady”? Oh, that’s a real easy question to answer I thought, because I’ve always been a girl, see-sawing somewhere between Scarlett O’Hara and Calamity Jane. I get my way with girlie smiles or a lady’s raised eyebrow (never womanly wiles), and tackle chores and problems with girlieContinue reading “a girl,a woman,or a lady?”

mouth before brain

It happened again. And again before that, and when you think back, there’s a whole history of agains. Each time, you say “I will never do that again” Then you do; at least there is consistency. Why, after so much practice (and so much regret) you still fail to recognise the point where you couldContinue reading “mouth before brain”

see me

The layered scars, bestowed along years of treatment would tell their own story if only I could let them. But the cutting removing re-arranging and healing are neither sights nor tales for the faint of heart, and my cancer is not yet public property. I don’t want your sorrow. Don’t wear pink for me andContinue reading “see me”

changing narrative

In my Loving Kindness group, I posed a question about feeling resentful after backing down from an awkward situation. The man sitting opposite me said “Changing the narrative could mean that instead of feeling forced into a decision, it becomes your choice.” Is changing narrative as easy as seeing silver linings under clouds, or seeingContinue reading “changing narrative”