Depending on whether you’re a glass half full, or a glass half empty type of person, I’ve either had a very good week or a very bad one. There’s been high drama, hospital procedures, a lot of humour, incredible kindness and emotional turmoil that’s gone beyond visceral and chartered the unknown territory of unbearable. I’veContinue reading “half empty, half full or need a bigger glass?”
Category Archives: cancer
new month, new drug
A new cancer drug has a frisson of excitement impossible to ignore, and multiples of new drugs are excitement beyond belief. But as we’ve all found from experience, every yin has its yang, what goes up is certain to come back down (generally with a splat on your head), and as everyone with cancer knows,Continue reading “new month, new drug”
Back on Track
It hasn’t been easy since Bruce died. There, I said it. My horse died and I’ve been struggling. It’s taken me some time to admit I am only human after all. I seem to process things in hindsight. At the time I think I’m fine and then I realise it’s just me who believes that.Continue reading “Back on Track”
42 West Street
This happened last year. The pain? It’s truly indescribable so I’m not even going to try. And if that’s not enough, I have never felt so frigging ill in my whole life. If this is Karma and I’m paying for past transgressions then many earlier versions of me are now debt free. I’m on theContinue reading “42 West Street”
Trust
Do you ever wonder if penguins stand around laughing while one of them pretends to walk like a person? The thought hadn’t crossed my mind either until I tried (in vain) to distract myself this week from real life, and real feelings. Meditation has been too scary because I don’t want to be alone inContinue reading “Trust”
Bruce’s Story: a perfect storm
New Years Day 2012 was sullen and grey, and so was I. Viewing my ashen face in the mirror, I grimaced at the chemotherapy residue and tried to focus my bloodshot eyes on something positive. “Stop brooding! Get yourself together and do something.” I said sharply to my pale reflection, pulling on a pair ofContinue reading “Bruce’s Story: a perfect storm”
Duet
I love a free offer. But when it’s another life-limiting disease I should have read the label before I put it in my shopping basket. Greed will be my downfall. The new recruit goes under the name Polyarteritis Nordosa. Polyarteritis Nordosa is a rare inflammation of the arteries, caused by a malfunctioning immune system. MyContinue reading “Duet”
connection
Being introduced to someone because we both have cancer is something I’ve studiously avoided. I would prefer we be ‘friends’ via another connection, rather than both being skewered by the Sword of Damocles, partnered like kebabs awaiting the barbecue. Some years ago my oncologist prescribed Eribulin chemotherapy which had just been approved for metastatic breastContinue reading “connection”
scan
For the past four years, I’ve had a CT scan every twelve weeks to monitor the cancer’s progress. I joke that I’ll die of radiation poisoning before I die of cancer, and one year when the tumours were in retreat, the radiographer took the threat seriously. Then the tumour cavalry appeared on the horizon andContinue reading “scan”
Down or Out
Q. How do you pull yourself out of a hole? A. You’ve fallen down a hole so deep, you’re standing at rock bottom. That’s assuming of course, that you are still standing. You tried to climb out, but scaling the sides seems impossible from such a low standpoint, and each superhuman effort barely makes aContinue reading “Down or Out”
