horses – a horse, a husband, and cancer

Trust

Do you ever wonder if penguins stand around laughing while one of them pretends to walk like a person? The thought hadn’t crossed my mind either until I tried (in vain) to distract myself this week from real life, and real feelings. Meditation has been too scary because I don’t want to be alone inContinue reading “Trust”

Fuck the Rainbow Bridge

“The horses at Rainbow Bridge play together in the sunshine until each of their owners comes to claim them, as the owners themselves pass away. The souls of horses and their owners finally reunite and cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.” To take responsibility for ending your own life is tough,Continue reading “Fuck the Rainbow Bridge”

worry

Back in April, Bruce and his horse-neighbour Winston broke their dividing fence, and hoolied around the field like a couple of youngsters. Things sobered up when Bruce got kicked on his hock, and I found him standing by the gate looking very sorry for himself. The joint swelled and subsided, puffy became the new normal,Continue reading “worry”

Bruce’s Story: a perfect storm

New Years Day 2012 was sullen and grey, and so was I. Viewing my ashen face in the mirror, I grimaced at the chemotherapy residue and tried to focus my bloodshot eyes on something positive. “Stop brooding! Get yourself together and do something.” I said sharply to my pale reflection, pulling on a pair ofContinue reading “Bruce’s Story: a perfect storm”

Bruce’s Story: expressing his opinion

It seems obvious now how similar Bruce and I were. Anxiety overruled logic, we both cloaked ourselves in an armour of false bravado and we were both in permanent flight from our demons. Bruce might have four legs, but I was running as fast from cancer as he was from his nemesis. Kirsty’s ‘quiet place’Continue reading “Bruce’s Story: expressing his opinion”

Bruce’s Story: Reality

Bruce was here, and he was truly the most handsome horse I’ve ever seen. I was going to make everything better, he would become a superstar, and as the storybooks say ‘we would all live happily ever after’. My initial plan for Bruce (besides making amends for all the horrible things that had happened toContinue reading “Bruce’s Story: Reality”

Bruce’s Story: angeldust

‘There’s many a slip between cup and lip’ is one of the truest sayings. Once James agreed to a new home for Bruce instead of euthanasia, he offered the horse to everyone, and a friend of Rosanna’s accepted the offer. Bill Blackwood was livid and I was heartbroken, not so much at not having himContinue reading “Bruce’s Story: angeldust”

Bruce’s Story: towards the end

James and his new wife married in late February. A week later they drove from London to Dorset, ready for hunting on Saturday. Rosanna was older than James and disguised it well. Tall and willowy with expensively coloured blonde hair and enough charm to make sure she got what she wanted, she liked to haveContinue reading “Bruce’s Story: towards the end”

Bruce’s Story: the middle

Last week I wrote the beginning of Bruce’s story, weaving the facts I know into fiction. I felt elated and a tad overwhelmed when many of you asked for more, so I had a chat with Bruce. He seemed unconcerned with the past, and asked me to scratch the itchy spot on his shoulder thatContinue reading “Bruce’s Story: the middle”

Bruce’s Story: the beginning

Through the records in his Irish Horse Passport, I traced Bruce’s early years in Ireland. A previous owner sent me this photo of him as a five-year old. With allowances for creative licence, I’ve dabbled with fiction and written his story: Southern Ireland is famous for the craic, the Guinness and the rainfall but evenContinue reading “Bruce’s Story: the beginning”