horses – Page 2 – a horse, a husband, and cancer

blockage

Mark and I were getting on each other’s nerves. Not a lot, but enough to make snappy, slightly-too-sharp replies. Neither of us are confrontational and we don’t argue much, but he thought I was having a go at him and I thought he was being stubborn. Neither of us wanted to talk about the realContinue reading “blockage”

scan

For the past four years, I’ve had a CT scan every twelve weeks to monitor the cancer’s progress. I joke that I’ll die of radiation poisoning before I die of cancer, and one year when the tumours were in retreat, the radiographer took the threat seriously. Then the tumour cavalry appeared on the horizon andContinue reading “scan”

Down or Out

Q. How do you pull yourself out of a hole? A. You’ve fallen down a hole so deep, you’re standing at rock bottom. That’s assuming of course, that you are still standing. You tried to climb out, but scaling the sides seems impossible from such a low standpoint, and each superhuman effort barely makes aContinue reading “Down or Out”

Dancing with Hooves

I’ve gained much horse knowledge and human support since Anna Blake opened the doors of her Relaxed & Forward Barn. I was very anti on-line horse groups because of the bitching and showboating that goes on, and shy about airing my dirty horse laundry in public, but I soon discovered most horse laundry has theContinue reading “Dancing with Hooves”

Blockage

All cancer treatments have side effects, and my current meds are no exception; I try to think of it as a yin-yang thing. This time round I get to keep my hair, but I have debilitating muscle fatigue, inflammation of the blood vessels. . .and constipation. You do not often see Writing and Constipation mentionedContinue reading “Blockage”

Selling the Dream

I am a consummate saleswoman, it’s what I do. I expect it’s another genetic trait I’ve inherited, like curly hair and cancer. I could make a healthy living selling assisted dying packages (payment up front of course) on a commission-only basis, and believe my spiel sufficiently to buy a package for myself. I might evenContinue reading “Selling the Dream”

Fear of Fear

We all arrive at fear with real and imaginary experiences that are as unique to us as our DNA. Unlike any other marathon, fear has no common starting-place, no midway point of motivation, and no perceivable end, but if we can gain succour from refreshments offered along the way, we can survive. If we canContinue reading “Fear of Fear”

Gathering the Herd

laying the foundations From the beginning, books and ponies were my entire life. I read every book I could find on how to look after ponies, ride ponies and train ponies, and every storybook about girls who had ponies. Today my imaginary pony was Black Beauty’s friend Merrylegs. Merrylegs and I flowed through our pacesContinue reading “Gathering the Herd”

boobs

part two By the age of forty I’d had breast cancer twice, and a generous helping of the side dishes that came with it. I felt I’d done enough to appease the gods of unlucky statistics, and would live the rest of my life in boring equilibrium. Ha! Once again, the hand of shite reachedContinue reading “boobs”

best medicine

Today’s bitter wind and watery sunshine broke the tedium of a dismal start to February where everything stayed grey, and the rain fell with sullen monotony. In past times, I’d have taken the opportunity to saddle up and blow away the cobwebs with a fast ride across the fields, splashing through puddles and jumping fallenContinue reading “best medicine”