horsehusbandetc

insignificance

January dawns with the promise a new year brings; 365 new days, 365 new chances. Sometimes we jump in and take a chance, sometimes chances jump out and take us. February, lighter in days but darker in mood, carries the weight of expectation on hunched shoulders. Country-wise elders rub gnarled hands and mutter “February fillContinue reading “insignificance”

42 West Street

This happened last year. The pain? It’s truly indescribable so I’m not even going to try. And if that’s not enough, I have never felt so frigging ill in my whole life. If this is Karma and I’m paying for past transgressions then many earlier versions of me are now debt free. I’m on theContinue reading “42 West Street”

morning

An early morning walk is my new normal because the need to be outdoors, to feel the morning air and the grounding presence of a world larger than mine is overwhelming. It feels strange to walk without the footfall of a companionable horse, but this is now and that was then, and I’m trying toContinue reading “morning”

The Secret in My Freezer

Is your deepfreeze a depository for experimental batch-bakes that taste awful but you can’t justify wasting? Do you have packs of Supermarket Ready Meals reduced in price, but so reduced in size they barely constitute a snack? While the tasteless foods stay on the top shelf pleading for a purpose, the homemade pizzas hide outContinue reading “The Secret in My Freezer”

What She Wrote

Once upon a time there was a girl who wrote stories. They were mostly stories about ponies. One day in school her teacher asked her to read her essay out loud to the class. The girl stood proudly and read clearly. A lot of the other little girls were also pony-mad so the story wasContinue reading “What She Wrote”

HennyPenny and Martina

Like all the other waifs and strays, HennyPenny limped into our life a mere shadow of her former self. We should have a sign on our house saying ‘Soft Touch Suckers Live Here’. I answered a knock at the door to a woman whom I vaguely knew through another friend, but it took a momentContinue reading “HennyPenny and Martina”

Trust

Do you ever wonder if penguins stand around laughing while one of them pretends to walk like a person? The thought hadn’t crossed my mind either until I tried (in vain) to distract myself this week from real life, and real feelings. Meditation has been too scary because I don’t want to be alone inContinue reading “Trust”

Fuck the Rainbow Bridge

“The horses at Rainbow Bridge play together in the sunshine until each of their owners comes to claim them, as the owners themselves pass away. The souls of horses and their owners finally reunite and cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.” To take responsibility for ending your own life is tough,Continue reading “Fuck the Rainbow Bridge”

If I be the first of Us

If I be the first of us to die, Let grief not blacken long your sky. Be bold yet modest in your grieving. There is a change but not a leaving. And just as death is part of life, The dead live on for ever in the living. And all the gathered riches of ourContinue reading “If I be the first of Us”

worry

Back in April, Bruce and his horse-neighbour Winston broke their dividing fence, and hoolied around the field like a couple of youngsters. Things sobered up when Bruce got kicked on his hock, and I found him standing by the gate looking very sorry for himself. The joint swelled and subsided, puffy became the new normal,Continue reading “worry”